Agent Hawaii - The Ordeal Begins
by TheDirtyShizno
Summary: The story of how Agent Hawaii came to be. This is a story made specifically for all the red vs blue fans out there, so I hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The only things I own are the original ideas the don't come from roosterteeth... I'm just too lazy to list them all.

Robert DaKine was your average Hawaiian kid, that is to say, he was of asian descent (not totally, only about a quarter) and had jet black hair which he usually spiked up. When Rob was 17 he was drafted into the UNSC for the war against the "alien scumbags" as his professors called them. Thus begins his story.

"Alrighty, another new recruit huh?" Sargent Monty Brian asked. "Well, you're in luck soldier, the famed "Hawkeye" team has an opening. You're to be Hawkeye six."

"Wait, what happened to Hawkeye five?" A suddenly anxious Robert asked.

"Nothing, he's still there. It's what happened to Hawkeye six that should worry you."

"Great, just great." Rob muttered under his breath.

"Care to tell me what happened to him?"

"Aww, trust me dude, you do NOT want to know.

"C'mon Monty, I'm pretty sure I do."

Just then, a random soldier walked up.

"Oh hey, are you talking about Hawkeye six?"

"Yeah, can YOU tell me what happened to him?"

"Trust me dude, you do NOT want to know." He said, walking off.

"I'm pretty sure I do!" Came Rob's strangled reply.

**UNSC Starbase over Requiem  
0800 the next day.**  
"When are you planning on going AWOL?" Monty asked him.

"You know, why are you even here? Are you going to stalk me throughout my career or something?"

"Naw. I'm only supposed to stalk you for the next six months. We've been transferred to Sidewinder."

"How long till we have to leave?"

"Two weeks."

"Well, I guess we should get busy then, shouldn't we? I mean, I haven't even had basic training yet. Didn't you hear about that guy who was beaten to death with his own skull?"

"Oh haha Rob, but I don't think that's physically possible."

"That's what he was saying!"

**Planet Sidewinder  
1625, 3 days later. **  
Rob awoke to a horrible combination. Vic over the radio and the air raid sirens.

"Yo, dude, your life signs just perked up, im gonna guess you either had a heart attack or you're finally awake, dude."

"Dont you ever sleep Vic?" came Rob's tired reply. "Can't you just leave a guy alone? Unlike you, I ENJOY sleep."

"Woah, take it easy dude, maybe instead of a friend I should consider you something that ISNT a friend, amigo."

Rob locked Vic out of his helmet with his override code, wondering why he wore it to bed in the first place. Instead of going to his battle station, which was the fuel pump for the tank, he decided to go over to the oil fields,and shake things up a bit, since he knew the covvies would be gunning for it. He hid behind an oil barrel, wondering if this was a good idea with all the explosions going on around him. He decided to move, and instead hid behind a barrel marked "petrol", thinking it meant non-perishable food.

He waited for just the right moment, ran out from behind the barrel, decided it wasn't just the right moment, and went back behind his barrel of explosives. He waited a bit longer, then jumped out and grabbed the banshee right as it loosed a plasma torpedo, which made a very heroic looking action shot. He clambered up on top and suddenly, to his surprise, his plan didn't go so well when the banshee started doing barrel rolls. Rob was a timid but brash person, being shy around new people and extremely comfortable with the people he knows. Suddenly the brash side mysteriously disappeared.

"I-I H-hatteeee H-higggghhhtssss" became his battle cry as he saw the foot of whoever was driving the banshee sticking out of the end. He grabbed the foot and yanked, the elite flying out and landing on the ice with a bone crushing CRRUNCH. By this point, the banshee was starting to tilt, and Robert made up his mind that he was gonna try and fly this thing.

Suddenly, Vic came back on the radio.

"Yo, dude, looks like you could use some help."

"Thanks Vic, but I think I'll pass. How did you get back inside my helmet anyway?"

"Dude, you forget I'm a higher rank than you. My override command overrides your override, if you get what I'm saying."

" God damn it Vic. What's the point of me even having my own override code if you can just override it?"

"Uh, dude, you might wanna look out for that tree."

Suddenly realizing Vic was right, Rob decided it was time to focus. Narrowly avoiding the tree, he swung himself inside the open, spiraling hatch as it swam down through the clouds. After he had gotten inside (luckily it hadn't tilted too much) he steered for home base, which as much as he hated it, was the only place he could go on Sidewinder. When he arrived, he found the oil field in flames and his barracks roof caved in. Lucky he hadn't slept in that morning. He arrived to something he hadn't expected, the sound of the AA (Anti-Aircraft) guns shooting at him. It's during these times that one thinks of something cheerful, or something he remembers fondly to get him through the hardship. Rob did neither of those.

"Well dude, looks like this is adios, amigo." came the helpful voice of Vic over the radio.

Instead of thinking of something good to encourage himself, he just muttered "Well shit. So much for me not getting a not-post-humous medal."

"Dude, you're screwed. See what I did there dude? It rhym-"

**Medical Ward, Sidewinder base Foxtrot  
0640, two weeks later. **

Rob awoke to a blinding flash, effectively blinding him.

"Alright son, now what were you doing working for the covvies?"His good, but older, friend Monty asked.

"Don't give in to his demands dude!" Came the ever annoying voice in his head.

"Sargent, that is enough! I shall handle this interrogation as I see fit to!" Came a southernly drawl.

**_I know this is a bit short, but this is more of an intro into the character. Think of it as a prologue, if you will. I may do the next chapter from Rob's point of view, vote in the reviews! I appreciate you guys tolerating my first story. :)_**


	2. Agent Hi

The long awaited by probably nobody sequel to Agent Hawaii's Big Break! As always, all I own is everything not owned by somebody else. Thanks for the reviews! I'm going to keep working on introducing more about Rob in this one.

**Medical Ward Sidewinder base Foxtrot  
0640**  
"Sargent, that is enough! I shall handle this interrogation as I see fit to!" Came a southernly drawl.

"Well dude,maybe not dude, maybe you'll actually survive!"

"Uhh, who are you?" came Rob's confused voice.

"Yo, dude, it's me, Vic,"came Vic's ever annoying voice.

"No, not you, the other guy."

At this, Monty and the mystery man exchanged a worried glance.  
"Now, you have suffered some serious injuries, it may be some time before you can walk again," came Monty's comforting voice.

"Yes, but who is that guy?"

"I am the Director. You will call me as such," came the now not-so-mysterious man's voice.

"Ok... so what do you want with me?" Rob asked.

"I have taken interest in you, and have a proposition for you." the Director promptly stated.

"Yo, dude, what's a proposition?"

"It's like an agreement between two parties."

"Uh, Rob? Are you okay?" Monty worriedly asked.

"I told you sergeant, THAT IS ENOUGH! Now, we have some business to discuss, and I would appreciate it if a certain sergeant would leave."

"Yes sir." Monty replied with a salute as he left the room.

"So Agen- I mean,Mr. DaKine, I have taken an interest in you. I presume you've heard of Project Freelancer?"

"Wait, wasn't one of their agents the one that beat that guy to death with his own skull?"

"Do not be ridiculous. This is no time for jokes. Anyway, I want you in my department."

"Really? Me?"

"Yes, and I've also noticed you already have a contact within my network," the Director stated, placing a comm on the desk.

"Yo, dude," came a familiar voice.

"Might I ask just how you managed to meet Vic?"

"Oh, we go way back, he and I."

"Interesting. Anyway, I wish you to consider my offer. You may contact me through Vic."

**Sidewinder base Foxtrot Medical Ward  
2300, two days later.**

"Well Rob, I guess this is it," came Monty's sad voice, weaving through the anesthetics to Rob's brain.  
"I've been shipped out," he kept talking to Rob's sleeping form, "I'm not gonna get to stalk you for those six months I promised."

"Monteeee... Is that you? I hear somebody," came Rob's voice, crystal clear in the silence of the medical ward.

"I'm here Rob. I'm here. Listen, even if only your subconscious can hear me, take that guy's offer. It could give you a future of something. Of course, you could also wind up dead, but lets not dwell on that."Rob's mind, now partially active, was able to respond with a bit of sentience this time.

"Monty, if I have to get new armor, tell Vic to go to hell for me, will you?"

Monty, still not knowing just who Vic was, decided Rob was delusional.

**UNSC Starbase orbiting Earth  
Classified  
2 months later**

Rob stepped off the shuttle pad with a feeling of anxiety and nervousness as he looked around for his contact. He hadn't been told how he would recognize his contact, but suddenly that didn't matter as he saw the man holding the cardboard sign with his name on it.

"Are you Robert DaKine?" asked the strange man standing before him. He wore a black suit, a black tie, black shoes, black socks, black sunglasses, and his hair was black.

"Who wants to know?"

"The Director of Project Freelancer."

"Ah, well, in that case, you've found him. Might I ask your name?"

"You may."

"Alright, what's your name?"

"I said you could ask me, I never said I could tell you."

"Well, I guess you've got a point there. So, when do I meet The Director?"

"The way I remember it, you already did about two months ago."

"C'mon man. Stop playing games. You know as well as I do that I meant when do I get to see him."

"You don't."

"How bout if I pretend to be an alien and say "Take me to your leader?""

"The Director doesn't like jokes. Just follow me."

"Yo, dude, what did I miss? Vic is in the house," came Vic's comforting voice over the radio.  
This time Rob was smart enough to turn off the external audio on his standard MkIV helmet.

"Will you just leave me alone? What did you ever do for me?"

"Dude, do you seriously not remember? You wouldn't know how to do anything if it wasn't for me. I even taught you how to put your helmet on, not to mention giving you all those specs on the UNSC and Covenant vehicles. What about all those training simulators dude? If I remember, the ghost was your favorite?"

"I STILL don't understand how you taught me to put my helmet on if I can only hear you through my helmet."

"Dude, stop changin the subject."

**Flashback**

**2 months 2 weeks ago...**

Rob was riding through the desert on this brand new ghost, shooting at all the grunts he saw. Suddenly, he realized that there was a boost button. He plowed through the grunts, and whooped in celebration as the computer told him the next round was about to begin.

"Round 2, Elites equipped with energy swords."

This was too easy. The elites ran straight at his ghost, practically commiting suicide. As he ran over the last one with a satisfying crunch, the computer informed him of the next round.

"Round 3, Mixed Elites and Grunts with fuel rod cannons."

They too were no match, as the ghost was faster than the rockets. And so the next eight rounds went until:

"Round 13, Elites on ghosts."

As it turned out, the only thing ghosts didn't work against, was other ghosts.

**UNSC Starbase orbiting Earth  
Classified  
2 months 2 weeks later**

"Yeah, well, I was pretty drunk then. What did you expect me to do when I found out I was being shipped to the coldest place possible? Dance for joy? Hop up and down on one foot? You're messed up Vic, you know that?"

"Woah, dude, pull the brakes on those insults till I agree that they're anywhere near accurate."

"Well, what have you done for me recently?"

"... Seriously dude? I mean, come on! You can't be serious! What have I done for you recently? You wouldn't even be able to party right now if it wasn't for me! You'd have to party in the afterlife dude!"  
By now, the strange man had led him through a do not enter door, through an obstacle course, and crossed a river to a shuttle site without Rob noticing since he was so focused on Vic.

"You know, most people ask about the do not enter door, and those who don't ask about the obstacle course. Nobody has ever made it to the river or the site itself without talking. That either bodes well or bad for you, agent." Rob was still talking to Vic, and hadn't even noticed him say that. Of course, the secret man noticed he was talking to himself and had a sudden insight that he was crazy. Just like everyone else.

As he entered the shuttle, he realized he wasn't the only one there. There are two stern looking soldiers with assault rifles slung over their armor.

"So, wadda in for?" Rob joked with them. They said nothing, simply staring.

"Am I that good looking that you can't keep your eyes off me?"

"Sir, we have been assigned as your security detail."

"Security detail? I'm not important, I'm just me. Why has everyone taken such an interest in me?"

"Well, we've been told that you're to be made a spartan."

"A SPARTAN?! I DIDN'T SIGN UP TO BE CYBERNETICALLY ENHANCED!"

"Well, you wouldn't exactly be a spartan..."

"Well what's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see..."

**Mother of Invention**

**The Present**

"Sir, the new agent is here."

"Excellent, send him in Counselor, send him in."

**There you have it! The conclusion of chapter two! I Hope you all enjoyed, and I appreciate reviews! Hope this explains who Rob is, and that my grammar is better than last time. **


	3. Welcome to the team

The new chapter in the Agent Hawaii Series! Hope you enjoy, and I'll try to stay on track :)

Rob walked off the shuttle, followed by his new friends Alpha 1 and Alpha 2, the two guards who were in the shuttle. Thinking back on it, Rob realized they hadn't been very talkative, in fact, they hardly said anything at all!

"Sir, please follow us to your new quarters," came Alpha (Was is one or two? Under their armor they looked identical) 's voice.

"Well, alrighty, but maybe you could explain a bit more about why I'm here on the way over?"

"I don't think so." As they walked down the hall, Rob admired the flashy yet tasteful bare metal walls.

"Guess they haven't done much decorating, have they?"

The Alpha trooper remained silent, probably already annoyed at him. Instead of talking, Rob decided to walk in silence. A couple people walked by, some welcoming him, but most just kept walking in silence. One trooper was nice enough to stop and introduce himself.

"Hi there, I'm North Dakota, but most people just call me North."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you North. I'm Robert, but most people call me Rob."

The next thing North said confused him.

"Not for long. See you around." By this point, the trooper was getting antsy, and was inching his hand closer and closer to his pistol. Rob decided it was a good idea to keep moving. Eventually, they reached his new quarters, where he found a welcome and unwelcome visitor at the same time.

"Yo, dude, welcome to the crew."

"Thanks Vic, it's... interesting to be here. First question, where can I get some food? It's almost lunch time by my watch."

"Woah, what dude? It's 4 in the morning." Ah. That would explain why he saw so few people.

"But it's 11 back at Sidewinder," Rob practically whined as a low rumble was heard throughout the ship.

"Well, the mess might still be open. It's run by computers instead of the normal dudes, dude, so don't expect anything good." As they were walking towards the mess, they were pulled over by a familiar face, North.

"Sorry to interrupt, but the Counsellor wishes to see you."

Rob established his reputation right there, but in the politest way possible.

"If the Counsellor wishes to see me, please inform him that I will be in the mess, and if he decides to make if an order, tell him to go to hell for me, will ya?"

"Well," North replied uncertainly, "I'll try. You seem like a good enough guy. Just don't ever do that to the Director, and you should be ok." Rob and Vic continued to the mess, where the computer decided it didn't like them and this gave Rob a banana and a glass of water.

"A GLASS OF WATER? WATER DOESN'T GO WITH BANANA! ARE THEY CRAZY?" With that, Rob sat down and ate his banana and drank his water, too tired after his long voyage to argue with a computer, though he normally would have been glad to.

Rob woke up about 6 hours later with his face glued to a table and somebody shaking him awake.

"I swear Vic, if you're STILL trying to tell me about those stupid color battles, I'll knock your block off."

"No need to worry buddy, I'm not Vic. Names Wash. The counsellor says that if its convenient he wishes to see you."

"The Counselor? Where have I heard that name before?"

"Oh, well, he asked to see you last night and you refused. You'd better hope he didn't tell the Director."

"The Director sounds like a son of a bitch."

"Alright, that's it buddy! The Directors done nothing to you other than give you a job, if you have a complaint, you can settle it with me on the training field!" came Wash's angry voice. Rob went to see the counselor.

"Ah, . You are from here on to be known as Agent Hawaii, as I believe you grew up there as well as your being the last of the un-reserved states to join."

"Agent Hawaii... Agent HI? Is this a joke?"

"I assure you agent, we do not joke here at Project Freelancer. Serve well, and you shall be rewarded. I can see the makings of a fine agent in you, if only you could calm yourself," came the Counsellor's soothing and calm voice.

"Now, I believe it is time to have you outfitted for your duties as an agent."

When Rob emerged from sickbay, he had brand new armor as well as a few cybernetic enhancements. He had opted for a Recon class helmet and Warrior class torso armor, he had also gotten his pick of colors. He picked Standard-issue blue with a steel trim.

"Well, so this is the new recruit. He isn't too scrawny looking, like you York."

"Hey, I take offense at that!"

Rob realized that these were a few people whom he did not know, and introduced himself.

"Hey there, I'm R- Hawaii."

"Ah. I'm York and this is my friend Carolina. Nice to meet you Hawaii, and might I just say, good luck."

"Good luck? For what?"

Carolina spoke up. "You see Hawaii, we have a tradition here. The new kid and an agent of his choice versus the person who's top on the leaderboard. Right now, that person happens to be me." At that point, Rob felt very small, and decided his armor probably wouldn't be much of a help against the monstrosity of an agent.

"Oh come on Carolina, does he even know anybody besides Wash and I? He told me about last night, so he'd probably pick me. No offense, but I wouldn't be much of a help to him."

"Aw, he'll be fine. Lets head down to the training floor and get prepped."

Rob now felt not only small, but angry, miniature lightning dancing in his eyes.

"Who said I would pick you? I pick North."

By this point, a crowd had gathered, and North was among them.

"Hey kid, are you sure you want me? I'm barely even on the leaderboard."

"Well North, in my experience, it's not always the best who win."

They headed down to the training floor, and suddenly Rob noticed that he didn't know how to use any other weapons but an assault rifle. Only one thing to do now.

"Hey Vic, you there?"

"Oh, hey dude, how you doing?"

"I'm pretty bad, you?"

"Oh you know dude, same old same old. You had your initiation yet?"

"I'm on my way there now, and that's why I called you. I don't suppose there will be any ghosts there?"

"No dude, and you realize you can't just run everybody over though, right dude? I can tell you this though, there will be eight rounds of training: three rounds of hand to hand, two of lockdown, and one of shoot out."

"Shoot out? Can't say I'm familiar with it."

"We'll dude, it's basically your pick of weapons and try to kill the enemy, dude. Lucky for you though, it's blanks. Ever played Lazer Tag? Just like that. There's usually an objective like capture the flag and stuff like that. It's usually weapon of your choice.

Rob was depressed when he saw some soldiers gambling on who would win, nine said Carolina and only one said North. Nobody even mentioned him.

"I'm gonna let you in on a secret, new guy. I already have an AI, I'm one of the first. His name is Theta. Combined with my equipment, which is a shield, we have a fair chance at winning. Right now though, I think everyone's betting on Carolina. Even York is scared of her, and he's second on the leaderboard. I'm fifth."

"Well, if we die, at least I know I won't have to go to the mess anymore. Did you realize they gave me a banana? Some welcome present," Rob complained, shifting his weight from foot to foot in an effort to hide his nervousness. Once they were inside the arena Rob felt like he was gonna puke.

Phyllis's voice came on over the speakers,"Round One, Agents Hawaii and North Dakota against Agent Carolina. First three rounds will consist of hand to hand combat, the next two shall be lockdown, and the last will be a shoot out match. Good luck agents!"

With that the round began. North ran to the left for unknown reasons, while Rob just stood there, looking dumb but (in his opinion) cool armor. Carolina charged forward and kicked him in the side of the head, a great way to start the match. Suddenly North reappeared, karate chopping Carolina in the head, drawing her attention away from the moaning blob known as Agent Hawaii.

"You son of a bitch, why are you so strong?!" came Rob's treacherously weak voice.

"Yeah well, haven't you been paying attention? I'm not a son of a bitch, I'm THE bitch, you idiot." That was where Rob's treacherous voice came in. He attempted to mimic North's karate chop, but was apparently too loud and got flipped onto his back before he realized what was happening. Carolina had already taken North down, the only blow hitting her the one North had struck earlier. And so the next two rounds went, Hawaii and North getting crushed by Carolina's impressive skill.

"Round Four: Lockdown. Good luck agents!" Rob did much better this time, as most of his training was with hand guns. North went left again, but this time the roles were reversed. Rob went straight and then left when he heard North's signal. He got to North just in time to see his head hit the ground covered in lockdown. He fired twice at, and hit, Carolina's back.

"Crap! How did they beat me?"

"That's very sportsman like of you Agent Carolina. You underestimated an opponent during ranged combat. During the next round, Carolina took North down too early for him to be of any help. Robb's instincts went into overdrive, and soon he saw Carolina in front of him. She fired at him but missed, and a firefight soon broke out. They both hit each other at the same time, but Rob scored a headshot while Carolina shot him in the leg.

"Holy... this stuff really burns," Carolina moaned.

"What? The lockdown or defeat? Speak up Carolina, I'm not sure the audience can hear you." At that, the "audience" burst out laughing.

"Round Six: Shootout. Elimination round, good luck agents. Chosen map is Sand Castle 01, and vehicles will be a ghost and a scorpion. Weapons are weapons if choice, however, once you choose you may not change. The goal is to not destroy your opponents command vehicle,the scorpion, but to destroy the defending team. Five minute time limit, try to defeat as many enemies as possible, and ever vehicle destroyed you shall be docked a point. Agents have two minutes to prepare, good luck agents. Agents North and Hawaii shall start on offense, Carolina on defense

"Alright North, I've got a plan. First, I'll get the ghost, you can take the Scorpion. I'll get Carolina to chase me, just hang tight here until I call for you. Once I do, wait until we're going over a sand dude to fire. Hopefully the uneven terrain will make it difficult for the scorpion to stay upright. Once the scorpion flips over, she'll be forced to get out and then we can do one of two things. A) Run her over, or B) shoot her."

"Wow, you thought this trough, didn't you?"

"Begin." Rob ran for the ghost, not even bothering to pick up a weapon. He held the boost button all the way until he reached Carolina's base, where she was still picking equipment. She heard him coming, but wasn't fast enough to get out of the way. Her hologram flickered from the impact, and Phyliss announced a point for Hawaii and North. The next time they followed the plan, and scored a second point against Carolina, North's hologram shooting here's in the head with a sniper rifle. The Defensive round went just as well, only this time they waited for Carolina to attack them. That didn't take long, and this time they were allowed to blow up her tank.

"Round six complete. Agents Hawaii and North are tied with Agent Carolina with three points each. Entering tie-breaker round."

"Phyllis, call off the match."

The arena grew quiet as they all stated at who had entered the room.

"Yes, Director," came Phyllis's voice.


	4. HI gets an AI

**First off, I would like to explain my delay. I have had writers block. Secondly, I would love to thank TunelessLyric, without whom's reviews I'd be aimlessly rambling. Without further ado, here's the show you payed for!**

"Yes sir," came Phyllis's voice.  
"Director, I could have beat them!"  
"That is NOT the reason I stopped the match Carolina, and you would be wise to not talk back to me, or to question my decisions. This concerns Hawaii, and Hawaii only."  
Rob felt like he wanted to dig a hole and die in it. It seemed like even his super-cool looking armor couldn't hide his shame.  
"Y-yes, Director?"  
"Agent, follow me."  
North wished him luck on the way out, and Carolina made a comment about him being a son of a bitch. Making their way through the halls, Rob thought this a great time to tell the Director how much he loved the flashy, yet moderate, bare metal walls, but decided better of it when he realized the Director could have him killed. The Director decided to walk as he talked.  
"Phyliss has had her eye on you since you got here, agent, and we know that you are a proficient warrior in everything but hand to hand combat."  
"Was that not obvious enough in the arena?" came Robs boastful yet shameful statement. It was true, he had done quite well in the marksmanship, but had failed miserably in the hand to hand.  
"Quiet. Self-criticism leads to exertion. I cannot afford to have any of my agents out of duty."  
"If I may ask sir, why exactly did you stop the match?"  
"To talk to you."  
"Well, that is rather obvious, but it's also fairly obvious that you haven't gotten to the point yet. What is your point, Director?"  
"Be more cautious with how you speak in the future, agent. You have been scheduled to receive an AI, count yourself fortunate."  
"Yo, dude, just heard the good news. Congrats, dude."  
After turning off his external audio, Rob was able to reply. "Do you have to listen to everything I do?"  
"Well, yeah dude, it's kinda my job."  
"I thought your job was to monitor those color troops, what were they, blue vs red battles?"  
"C'mon dude, it's red vs blue, it just sounds stupid if you say it backwards. "  
"Agent Hawaii, I would appreciate it if you would turn off your helmet when you are supposed to be paying attention to me," came the Director's suddenly not so friendly voice.  
"Yes sir. I apologize for my actions."  
"Consider yourself lucky, next time there WILL be a punishment. You may return to your duties, or your match, whichever you prefer."  
Rob suddenly realized that he was being punished, he had not intended to go back to the arena, but now that the Director had said so, how could he not? He made it back to the Arena to find that everyone but Carolina had gone, who was practicing her accuracy, clearly troubled about what happened in the match.  
"Hey," came Rob's voice, scaring Carolina into shooting herself in the foot. "care to resume the match?"  
"What, without your friend North?"  
"I was thinking just you and me, Carolina. Just you, and me. "  
"Phyliss, choose a randomized match setting with a randomized arena along with randomized weaponry."  
"Yes, Agent Carolina. Round Chosen, elimination on Jungle Arena 05 with two magnum pistols each. Begin round." The arena was from one of Rob's wildest dreams, steamy and misty, with trees as far as you could see. He quickly picked up his magnums and began hunting. He wasted valuable ammo and probably his location when he shot at a few leaves rustling in front of him. Meanwhile, Carolina had turned her armor to a green color, blending in with the foliage, and making hardly a sound as she ran through the jungle. Rob, however, was a loud, stumbling, cursing bright blue figure in a sea of green. The match ended quickly, with Carolina simply hitting him over the head with the butt of one of her pistols.  
"Round complete, tiebreaker point awarded to Agent Carolina. Might I just say Carolina, that was a wonderful match."  
"That was sneaky Carolina, using armor equipment. You know I don't have any of that."  
"There are no rules in warfare moron. Besides, it's not like I have an AI."  
"not like I have an AI" kept running through Rob's head for the next few days. Why was he scheduled to have an AI when she wasn't? This just didn't make sense. The time to get his AI approached, and North met him outside the hospital wing to wish him luck.  
"Listen man, it's all gonna be ok. There aren't any side effects, and an AI is nothing but good luck. It also shows that the director has a lot of faith in you if he's willing to give you one."  
The last thing Rob could remember was counting down for the doctors.  
"20, 19, 18, 12 and a hal-"  
"Jese, the mess really did a number on him. He skipped 17 through 13!" came the worried medic's voice.  
"Don't worry about it, the Director ordered a better batch for mr Hawaii here."  
The strangest thing was hearing two different voices speaking at the same time.  
"YoHidudetherehowimyouChidoing?its a pleasure to meet you Agent Hawaii." With that, Hawaii fell asleep again. When he woke up again, there was only one voice.  
"Hello Agent Hawaii, my name is Chi. I am your AI unit. I apologize for the over stimulation, you were receiving input from both me as well as your radio and I should have realized it would have been better to wait."  
"Hey Chi. So, you're gonna be staying with me for a while, huh?"  
"It would appear so."  
North's confident voice appeared, along with a few others in the background.  
"Hey buddy, how you feeling? If the AI is doing his job, he's probably trying to keep you awake. "  
"Uh, yeah. That was definitely my goal," came the voice in his head.  
The background voices became clearer now.  
"Why did HE get an AI? Who does the Director think he is, giving the newbie an AI when IM the one who's been in the program for YEARS?! HUH?!"  
"That's South, my twin sister. First she was mad because I'm better than her in about every way possible, but now my friend getting an AI has set her over the edge. Guilt by association man, guilt by association."  
"He has a point Hawaii, he and South ARE twins and she has been struggling to keep up with him on the leaderboard. You are, I believe, number seventeen. For being the newest recruit, that is fairly good, and Agent South clearly considers you competition."  
"Seventeen, huh? Who's last?"  
"I believe her name is Agent Delaware," replied the shy-ish voice in his head. "The fact that Agent South has not yet received an AI has not helped her self-esteem much."  
Another familiar yet monotonous voice made it's entrance. "Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to step outside, your emotions are beginning to control you."  
"Alpha 1? Is that you?"  
"Agent Hawaii, good to know the fastest rising star remembers me. If you'll excuse me, I have an appointment to keep." With that, he escorted South out of the room.  
North walked Hawaii back to his room, as he was a bit tipsy from having received so much medication. Chi kept trying to keep him awake ( Something about the long term effects of sleep on the brain? ) but the moment Hawaii's head hit the pillow, he was out like a light.  
He awoke four hours later to Chi's voice in his head, reminding him that it was time to get up. Captain Obvious. The AI, being able to hear his thoughts, took offense.  
"Well, excuse me for attempting to keep everyone from thinking you'd gone AWOL!"  
"You're right Chi, but I think I'll risk it for a bit more sleep."  
"No you won't."  
"Yes I will."  
"No you won't."  
"Yes I will."  
"Look, we can keep on doing this until you become annoyed enough to punch yourself in the back of the head, or you could get up. There is only one correct answer Hawaii."  
"Fine. I'll get up."  
"Excellent. I took the liberty of securing a sparring match with agents Nevada, ranking number twenty, and Utah, twenty two."  
"What? I don't need any sparring training."  
"I beg to disagree Hawaii, you  
Showed exemplary talent  
In everything BUT hand to hand combat."  
"GO AWAY."  
"I'm sorry, but that is not physically possible," came Chi's voice, becoming visible for the first time as a dark blue soldier with ripply effects racing across his body. It was calming but alarming at the same time.  
"Woah! Who are you?"  
"Have you never seen an AI before Hawaii? It is me, Chi."  
"Ah. I don't know about you Chi, but Im gonna go to the mess and get a banana."  
Chi's laughter was a rich, contagious laugh, but he spoiled it by explaining why he was laughing.  
"You see Agent Hawaii, that is humorous because when you first got here all the mess gave you was a banana! It is common sense to laugh in a situation like this."  
"Chi, you don't have to explain yourself, I made that joke hoping to get you to laugh. It was fairly obvious to me, though that might just be because I was the one telling the joke."  
"Yo, dude, how are ya feeling? That little blue dude cut me off during our conversation before, it took a while before he finally lowered his firewall. By my watch, not until seventeen seconds ago, dude."  
"Vic, meet Chi. Chi, Vic."  
"Yo, little dude, pleasure to meet you."  
"And you as well, my tall friend."  
"If you'll excuse us Vic, my new friend and I have a training match to attend."  
Just having Chi there made all the difference. Within the first five seconds he would have been down if not for Chi's warning in advance.  
"Dodge right! Quick! Uppercut! Down left!"  
With Chi on his side, he beat the two agents 15 points to zero.  
"Hawaii, I have just received notification that we are to go on a new assignment. Your first, I believe."  
"Alright Chi, where are we going?"  
"We are going to an outpost known as Blood Gulch."  
"Yo, dude. Heard my turf being named, be careful with the boys down there. Try to wound em, not kill em. They're good men, and while they are pretty stupid, they haven't done anything to deserve dying over. Yet."  
"Alright Vic, I never really pictured you as the caring type, but I'll do my best."

**Thanks for reading! I hope you all haven't lost interest by this point, I promise something fun will happen in the next chapter**!


	5. Blood Gulch OPS

**Hey guys! Time for the next chapter in the series! As before, (though I forgot to mention it, everything except the things owned by me are owned by somebody else. **

Hawaii stepped out of the shuttle while having a mental conversation with Chi, and proved that multi-tasking is bad.  
"For our ancestor's ancestors!"  
"Keep away red, the new guy is wearing blue!"  
"Right... I'm just gonna go back to base and take a nap."  
"By god Grif, you have got to be the laziest soldier I have ever met! You should be executed for treason!"  
With gunfire everywhere, Chi led the confused Hawaii through the maze, and eventually ended up on the blue side.  
"Hey there new guy, would you PLEASE explain to Church that you can NOT pick up chicks in a tank? Caboose is too busy threatening the reds."  
"MY NAME IS MICHAEL J. CABOOSE, AND, I, HATE, READING!"  
"Really bluetard? Readings the best you can come up with?"  
"Knock knock."  
"Who's there? Lemme guess, a bluetard? Can I shoot it?"  
"What is black and white and red all over?"  
"Uh, a newspaper who?"  
"Your mud covered bloody head rolling down a hill MUAHAHAHAHAHA."  
Hawaii, trying to make some explanation of all this, turned to Chi for an explanation.  
"Don't look at me, I'm gonna guess he's a retard though."  
"Who are you calling a retard, blue-boy?" came the deep, menacing voice.  
"Hey, uh, greenish-blue dude? What's up with his voice? Why is it changing from stupid-yet-threatening sounding to very threatening sounding?"  
"Woah! I didn't kill that freelancer! Look at the pink dude over there!"  
"IT'S LIGHTISH RED!"  
Chi chimed in, giving a helpful suggestion. "I would recommend that we wait inside until the fighting dies down."  
"I couldn't agree more Chi." With that, they went inside and waited until they heard no more threats from the blue guy.  
"Hey Church," came the green-blue one's voice, "What happened to the newbie command sent?"  
"How the hell would I know? Did he die already? Command didn't even tell us they were sending reinforcements. If he hasn't run off hopefully he'll become Caboose's new best friend. He's always wanting me to play hide-and-don't-seek Tucker, I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE HIDEANDDONTSEEK!"  
"Hide and don't seek? What kind of a game is that?" asked Hawaii, revealing himself by spinning around in the swivel chair he was sitting on.  
"Oh,newbie, I think we should introduce ourselves. I'm Church, and The blue green guy is Tucker. The stupid one you heard earlier is Caboose."  
"Ah. Glad to have that settled. Freelancer Agent Hawaii, at your service."  
"A FREELANCER?" *whispering* "Tucker, go make sure Tex is still buried."  
"You guys DO realize it doesn't matter if you're whispering or not since we're talking over radios?"  
"Damn you."  
"Who's Tex?"  
"Uhhh... If you didn't know her, consider yourself lucky. She could be one angry bitch at times. On the other hand, we were very close. That's why we're fighting the reds! They killed her!"  
Chi suddenly spoke, but rather hesitantly. "Hawaii, I have just received a delayed comm from The Mother of Invention."  
"Well, what does it say?"  
"We have been assigned to the Red Team. I suggest we escape before the blues become suspicious."  
"The Reds? I thought they killed the mystery person!" Rob hastily replied, still not knowing just who Tex was.  
"It would appear so, but I would suggest we escape to the Red Base before the blues find out that we aernt supposed to be here."  
"Yeah yeah yeah... I get the idea Chi."  
They snuck out, not that it was very hard. They found Caboose talking to a tank and Tucker sleeping.  
"Hawaii, I believe that Private Caboose has discovered that Phyliss is the operating system for that tank."  
"C'mon Chi, stop getting distracted."  
They made it to the halfway point, and were greeted by a pink soldier.  
"Hi there! Private Donut reporting for duty sir!"  
"Donut, get away from him, he's wearing blue. Wait, on second thought get as close to him as possible, it's not like your pink armor is valuable anyway."  
"It's lightish red!" came Donut's protest.  
"Oh whatever. I'm getting out of here. Sarge'll know what to do."  
Several minutes later, the person Hawaii believed to be Grif returned with "Sarge".  
"Oh hey there new Freelancer fella, back already from your intel-gathering excursion? I hope you found a lot, because that excursion was UNAUTHORIZED."  
"Sarge? You know this guy?"  
"Well of corse I do Private Grif! Command said we would be receiving a freelancer to balance the odds, but now we have nothin but an advantage! Donut killed theirs, making him forever a part of this team!"  
"Just as I thought the day couldn't get any better..."  
"Aww, thanks Grif! That means a lot to me."  
"Quiet numbskulls! Can't you see the paid bounty hunter is thinking? Lets just hope he doesn't realize we haven't paid his worker's organization yet!"  
"Agent Hawaii, I would suggest we take this opportunity to live up to our freelancer name tag. I think you will agree that we should hire ourselves out to the highest bidder."  
"That's an interesting plan C, but I'd feel bad taking advantage of these guys... IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS? Those blues have an antique side-firing rocket launcher just laying on the ground over there! Look at all that stuff they have! They have a robot kit! How'd you like to be my robot sidekick C?"  
"I think I shall decline your offer."  
"Wow. Look at that. The reds have a custom Barrell-Blast 2000 shotgun complete with a cushioned grip, and it's even got the original grip completely intact! You know C, I think you're right. How could this be a bad idea?"  
"Ok then Sargent, I'll have to take some other form of pay as interest."  
"Interest?" came Sarge's confused voice, clearly befuddled by the idea.  
"Oh, I don't mean money, but rather something else. Perhaps, a shotgun?"  
"Mister, you get outta here before you're too full of lead to. And close the door to hell on your way out."  
"Oh c'mon Sarge, he doesn't mean YOUR shotgun, he probably just means one of the countless extras you leave lying around." Grif helpfully chimed in.  
"Yeah, and if we could defeat them and a freelancer, just imagine what we could do WITH a freelancer."  
"Oh... fine. Just don't take any of my favorites."  
"Alrighty then, I'll just go find one." Hawaii walked back over to the one he had found earlier and holstered it across his back.  
"Now, lets go kick some blue ass."  
"For our ancestor's ancestors!"  
"We're gonna die!"  
"See? There IS a tank!"  
"I love the color they painted their base!"  
"Great. Here come the reds with their new buddy the freelancer."  
"I wish tex was here."  
"Your toast has been burnt, and no amount of scraping will remove the black part!"  
Throughout the shooting, Hawaii felt calm. For one, he wasn't trying to hit them, and two, he was pretty sure they couldn't hit him. Then, one of the blues noticed his shiny new shotgun.  
"Hey, newbie-traitor-freelancer, we'll give you Caboose if you help us!"  
"What? No you fool. I always did think you were stupid Tucker."  
"Agent Hawaii, it is possible that we will need his help in the future."  
"Alright Chi, I can get used to this bidding war."  
After withstanding a few insults from the reds about being a traitor and a thief, he was officially declared part of blue team when he shot their warthog, giving it a flat tire.  
"All right! Welcome to blue team!" came Church's enthusiastic voice.

**Please note: I have decided to break this story up into several different ones in order to hopefully gain more viewers. Keep your eyes peeled for the sequel! (I also realize this is a bit short, this is an intro to the story that will be called "The Blood Gulch Ops")**


End file.
